Korean December

I've been in Busan for 4 months now and it's been a lot of good fun, but honestly I'm still feeling lonely despite having S with me almost all the time. I guess I still need a lot more time here to meet more like-minded people. S's friends are truly lovely people but finding people who are your friends are more important isn't it?

My korean still doesn't allow me to engage in any meaningful conversation, especially when people speak so fast and in the Busan dialect. I usually only catch on about 30% of what is going on. I can't really add in to the conversation and it takes immense concentration for me to not lose interest in the conversation. I really hope that I can improve my korean a lot more. Now I'm not longer in school, until the next term starts in March. I feel mildly discouraged to know that my ex-classmates are now progressing at a faster pace than I am for taking regular classes at the language school. I'm still learning on my own at home, but to be honest I'm not doing a big deal as I get up at 10 and after doing a page I get distracted by something else. We'll see how this goes...

I really miss my friends in Japan and in Singapore, but at least I'll be heading back to Singapore in less than a week. Yay! We are also going to visit Japan in late January so that should be fun too.

The weather changed so fast. When I arrived in early August, it was sweltering hot. The indoor temperature could be as high as 38degrees. I thought I was going to melt into a puddle, then the weather began to cool and soon it was comfortable autumn weather. The weather is so drastic though, so much more than my experience of living in Japan. The mornings would be freezing in the 10s and then noon would be blazing warm in the 20s. Finally it dropped to single digits in the morning. I never really know how to dress because I'm all wrapped on the way to school and then I would look like an idiot after school sweating in my layers.

Now we are heading into winter and it has been freezing lately. One thing I'm truly thankful for is having proper warm houses. The temperature indoors is usually around 17-22 degrees, whereas in my flimsy wooden house in Japan, sometimes the temperate goes down to 10!!! Or if I go to the bathroom I can even see my breath fog up in front of me. Haha.

Anyway yesterday S showed me a list written by a Japanese person who observed the cultural difference between Koreans and Japanese. It was amusing to see things from the Japanese perspective as well. Many people expect Korean culture to be similar to the Japanese one, but actually it's not. When I first arrived I also suffered huge culture shock and I felt depressed, and shut out. In Korea, it's really important not to stand out. There's a huge mob mentality going on especially in terms of appearances. For example older people in Korea generally dress themselves in outdoor attire, especially of those branded garish colourful hiking clothes even if it was a short pop to the shorts. Every woman above the age of 40 would be sporting this permed hairstyle, it's hard to distinguish Simama from the other middled-aged women. Same for younger women and men. Sometimes I mistake random guys on the street for S because they look so similar! The hairstyle, the glasses, the attire and the bag. It's like living in a country of clones! I miss Japan because it's acceptable to wear basically anything. Individuality is more accepted and no one would bat an eyelid at your outfit even if you're cross-dressing. My mom was just commenting that in Singapore people don't want to wear the same thing as others, but here people want to get something that the other person was wearing in the subway!

When the weather gets cold, I basically isolate myself within the warm and comfortable confines of my apartment. However sometimes when it's a little sunnier I force myself to go out once in a while. So where else to go to, except to mountains in Korea?

Inside one of the charismatic alleys of Beomeosa temple

 One of the temple halls

Autumn leaves at Beomeosa temple

Our Sunday evening walk around 윤산 (318m) just behind our place

The view of Busan city from the summit

There was a public park in the mountain and they had this bizarre 10m high swing that is just on the edge. I'm definitely not going on.

여행 계획 (My travel plan)

제 여행 계획은 이렇습니다. 저는 삼년후에 인도에서 여행을 할겁니다. 저는 남자친구가 있는데 여자친구들과 가고 싶습니다. 저는 남자친구를 여자친구들만큼 좋아합니다. 그러나 여자친구들하고가 남자친구보다 더 재미있습니다. 

우리는 인도 문화에 관심이 많습니다. 그래서 인도에 가고 싶습니다. 인도에 비행기로 갈겁니다. 우리는 매운음식을 아주 좋아합니다. 그리고 싱가포르에서 인도요리를 먹었는데 맜있었습니다. 그래서 인도에서 정통음식을 먹고 싶습니다. 인도음식 중에세 저는 차파티를 가장 좋아합니다. 그래서 저는 인도 남부에 꼭 먹으러 갈겁니다. 저는 빨리 인도에 가서 인도사리를 입고 인도맥수를 마시고 싶습니다. 

My homework was to write about my future travel plan and this was about going to India in 3 years time with my girlfriends to see the amazing sights, wear gorgeous saris, have traditional food from different regions and drink lots of interesting Indian beer. Woohoo. 

한국생활

나는 지금 부산대학교어학원에서 한국어를 배워요. 한국어가 조금 어려워요. 하지만, 한국어 공부가 재미있어요. 우리반도 재미있어요.

나는 부산 금정구에 살아요. 부산 여름이 아주 더워요. 가끔 밤에 못 자요. 매일 아침에 기분이 안 좋아요.

나는 남자 친구의 가족을 아주 좋아해요. 어머님은 한국요리를 잘 해요. 요리가 진짜 맛있어요. 조금 매워요. 하지만, 어머님은 나의 싱가포르요리를 안 좋아해요. 어머님은 항상 바빠요. 매일 친구를 만나요. 그리고, 어머님과 아버님은 영어를 못 해요. 아버님은 바디랭귀지를 잘해요. 그래서, 나는 아버님의 말하는것을 알아요. 아버님은 야구를 좋아해요. 저녁에는 야구를 봐요.

Mommy Sim's homemade Bibimbap

남자 친구는 대학생이에요. 나이가 나와 같아요. 남자 친구가 멋있어요. 키가 조금 커요. 남자 친구는 자전거를 아주 좋아해요. 그래서, 우리는 자전거를 샀어요. 남자 친구는 맥주도 아주 좋아해요. 우리 냉장고에 항상 맥주가 많아요. 그리고, 주말에 우리는 친구와 술을 많이 마셔요.

나는 한국생활을 좋아해요.

Our expensive bikes!

Our huge fridge with beer on it and in it.

Korean Ajummas VS SG Aunties VS Japanese Obasans

I will first apologise in advance for most of my rantings. I suppose seeing negative stuff is more of a motivation to write than anything else. Anyway... Recently I saw, read and heard some stuff which gave me more jolts of reality telling me that I'm in a different country.

Yesterday I saw something that broke my heart. I was in a rush heading home to drop my stuff off before heading to Costco for some groceries. And on my way home, I saw 2 old ladies at the road junction. 1 was a paper trash collector lugging a huge cart of cardboard pieces and the other was 1 seated comfortably by her window on her second floor. And then the ajumma on the 2nd floor just threw down a box of paper trash onto the road for the the trash collecting ajuma. The wind was strong, so some of the contents were blown away and that poor ajumma had to go through the trouble of picking up the pieces. I just felt so sorry for her, when it's such a shitty low-paying job and you also have to go through having ill-mannered people THROWING THEIR TRASH AT YOU FROM THE 2ND FLOOR AT THE SAME TIME. Is that even acceptable? She was already struggling to walk. I was just wondering how the ajumma sitting on the 2nd floor could have just dumped something at someone, instead of walking down to give it to her nicely. Isn't this a universally-accepted right thing to do? That gesture of hers seemed rather condescending towards the trash collecting ajumma, so I was pretty horrified at that scene. I don't think she did it out of meanness, but simply out of laziness and ignorance. Perhaps she was just an exception in Korean society. Perhaps I'm too used to Japanese manners and etiquette, I really do expect a lot more from people, but I seem to be disappointed all the time.

An example of a trash collecting ajumma

Similarly in South Korea, in contrast with the Japanese who would always say "Sumimasen" (excuse me) whenever they want to pass or something. It's a rarity to hear the korean equivalent here. Most people just push through. People don't have that much of personal space in South Korea, and personal space is non-existent in China.

On a funnier note, S read to me the news about 3 ajummas getting arrested for stealing chestnuts in a farm. I found that really hilarious because I can totally imagine this situation. In fact once in a while, I can see the local ajummas trying to steal some grapes overhanging from the neighbour's fence. They poke at it with their umbrellas hoping to break the branches. I wonder if they succeeded. But anyway the ajumma culture is something truly fascinating in South Korea. I believe that because they think that they are now middled-aged, experienced ajummas, they can do whatever they want and get away with it. In some ways, that's very similar to the aunties in Singapore as well.

Hilarious take on the Ajumma stereotype

The Singaporean version of the auntie stereotype - hogging seats on the subway

And you have the 40+ year old Japanese obasan who looks 20! (which is fairly common!!!)

Just a kind disclaimer here because my post is definitely not meant to cause offence because the people I've met have been so nice and considerate. From my very limited experience so far, it just seems like when you're stranger to someone, people's general treatment of you is usually of a lower standard than in the Japan. Yet on the other hand, in Japan, people might even treat strangers nicer than their family members, so it's on either extremes! So please bear with some of my personal musings from time to time.

우리나라 - 싱가포르

Night view of Singapore

나는 싱가포르 사람입니다. 우리나라는 날씨가 덥습니다. 매일 날씨가 맑습니다. 그래서, 나무 와 꽃이 많습니다. 우리나라 아주 예쁩니다.

하지만, 우리나라는 아주 작습니다. 싱가포르는 인구가 적습니다. 그리고, 우리나라남자가 안 멋있습니다.여자가 예쁩니다.

싱가포르 음식이 유명합니다. 싱가포르 칠리 크랩(게), 하이난 치킨 라이스, 락사가 아주 맛있습니다. 싱가포르 음식이 조금 맵지만 싱가포르사람는 잘먹습니다.  그리고, 타이거 맥주가 있습니다. 하지만, 진짜 맛없습니다. 우리나라는 술이 아주 비쌉니다. 1파인트(570ml)는 11미국달러입니다.

싱가포르 칠리 크랩 (Singapore Chilli Crab)

타이거 맥주 (Tiger Beer)

Culture shock in the land of kimchi

I apologise, because this blog seems to be abandoned for a long time. I've finally decided to pop back to rejuvenate this blog properly. I hope that I can keep to my promise.

Lots of things have changed. I've since moved to Busan, South Korea. I've been here for close to 2 months now and I still feel culture shock strongly once in a while. It's challenging to live here, but perhaps it's too early to tell right now. I'll give it more time.

So now I'm a student of the korean language and it's really interesting so far. I enjoy learning new languages, but my grasp of it is still so rudimentary, I can't have any form of decent conversation with a local. As such, I'm pretty much friendless in my city. My classmates are all well and good, but most of them are Chinese chinese. They are friendly but if you're not chinese within a big group of chinese, then you're not one of "us". You know...?

Anyway, I really hope to meet some like-minded people and talk about similar shared experiences in korea and things like that, or I'll go crazy in a matter of seconds. On the same topic, I'm terribly homesick and also missing my old life back in Japan. I've finally adjusted to my lifestyle there, enjoying socialising with familiar people, but I've cleverly uprooted myself and arrived in South Korea.

People assume that because you're Asian, you'd understand the culture more and fit in more easily than a real westerner. I doubt that's the case because sometimes I truly resent this overpowering confucianism-based society. It makes existing difficult because of how mindful you must be of your own behaviour around people, especially older people, because they expect you to be polite and to adhere to their cultural rules.

For example, I had many run ins with his family. For examples, I didn't know what to say to greet a family member when they left or arrived home. I decided to do a friendly "byebye" but that didn't go very well down with his father. He said that it was unacceptable. Oops. I was trying, but I think saying nothing would have been better.

Then we had a family meal together at home. BBQ meat and soju, yay! I happily took the soju bottle, give it a fancy swish around and thumped it hard at the bottom to shake it up. I was pretty much proud of myself for being able to learn this trick from S's friends, but again his father was like ZOMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!!? So I guess it was a no-no. I can't do that with elders, only with my friends apparently. Oops X2.

Another time I was called to S's house to meet his cousin who was going to get married. We live about 5 minutes away so I just threw on anything close by. It was also sweltering hot in mid-summer, at mid-day. Without a thought, I went to S's place to meet his cousin. Who then showed up with her husband, her dad and her mother-in-law-to-be. TOO MANY ELDERS TO MEET. Her father then commented that my tank top looked like a PJs because it was too form fitting. My skirt was deemed inappropriate as well because it too short and fitting. When we got home, S commented that my outfit was truly inappropriate. Thanks for the post-event advice. It had been terribly useful. I was really upset at the difference because attire really wouldn't matter in Singapore, especially what I was wearing. But it reflected badly on me in South Korea.

There was one more minor attire incident which pissed me off immensely about all these strict unwritten rules about attire. I was planning to wear my sports attire - a nike tank top and a pair of FTB shorts to walk about an hour to the bike shop and also drop by the supermarket nearby. S stopped me and demanded that I change out into normal t-shirt and shorts. So the million dollar question was WHY????? By my logical standards, it's THE BEST attire for a walk. Plus I look good in that. So his response was this - NOBODY IN KOREA GOES TO THE SUPERMARKET IN SPORTSWEAR. YOU WOULD BE SEEN AS A CRAZY IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woah woah woah. So basically 80% of the population (especially of those 40 and up) wear outdoor brands (for mountain-climbing, hiking etc) go to basically anywhere. But it's basically unbelievable and impolite to go to the supermarket in sportswear. MY MIND IS COMPLETELY BLOWN. I couldn't stand how ridiculous all these rules are like about attire. Why is everything such a big deal?

As you can see, I still have a lot of emotional dissonance to deal with. We'll see. Watch this space. I hope to check in again soon! In the meantime, I'll have to post some photos to make up for all the missing photos in my past posts. I wonder what went wrong.

In Korea, it's perfectly fine to sit by the roadside to relax. This is especially popular with the 아줌마(clone-like middle aged korean aunties with permed hair and loud voices).

Midday in bustling Nampodong market (near Jagalchi fish market)

colourful Gamcheon Cultural Village

New year new challenges

It'a been way too long since I've updated this blog.

So much have happened and so much have changed.

Since summer last year, I've been on an adventure with my dear friends from Singapore to Szechuan, China. I returned and enjoyed the rest of the summer and I've also met a person who is now someone extremely important to me.

It's amazing how things change so quickly and although it's terribly cliched, the best things happen when you least expect it.

I haven't felt like this in a while and perhaps I've never even felt like this before. Maybe this is true, maybe he's the one.

I'm afraid that things might go wrong because of all the logistical obstacles we face in the future, not to mention the cultural and language differences. Our best (and seemingly easiest) alternative has been found to be unviable because of certain university requirements which would be rather difficult to meet.

He was extremely upset and while I was also disappointed, I'm surprised at how optimistic I was at trying other options. I think perhaps I have enough strength to get through this because of how much he means to me.

Maybe he could be the one. Watch this space.

home and away

I'm staring at a giant roach roaming the lounge which seems to look pretty majestic if you ignore the fact that it's actually a gross bugger that feeds on the worst kind of waste.

Woohoo, glorious summer! Just to make things livelier, some more random insects are just ramming their heads into the window panes. :/

So far summer has been amazing. The sunsets have been particularly spectacular! The weather is blazing but there have been tons of things to look forward to. I'm sooo glad that I made time for more fun this year. Last year I spent it almost entirely at work.  Getting sunburnt at the riverside/beach also seems to be the quintessential Japanese summer experience. The yukata experience has been interesting, the fireworks have been breathtaking, the summer festivals taking place throughout Japan have been rather enjoyable. Have I mentioned how much I appreciate the 4 seasons and how there are various things to look forward to in each of them!?!?!

Anyway, I finally got to stay home for most of the day on my 3rd day off, it wasn't too productive, but at least I made it to a 1-Michelin-Star restaurant for lunch in Shinjuku and then came home, did the laundry and caught up with my mom on Skype. I made my first bowls of shaved ice and watched some Japanese drama as part of my feeble attempts to learn Japanese. After about 90 minutes of watching a coming-of-age drama with the hero dying leaving behind his heartbroken high school sweetheart, I now know the Japanese word for Cancer. haha.

So I'll move on to the main course now... I met this Singaporean boy whom I met on couchsurfing and I've been annoyed by him because he's been so unreliable. I wonder if it's a Singaporean characteristic now. Have I been spoilt by Japanese standards of politeness and courtesy? So he didn't kill my cat or anything like that, but first he didn't show up for my friend's bbq after I invited him because he had too much to drink the night before. Then I offered him to join my friends and I last weekend, but he had other plans. Fine... So I decided that we should meet up for lunch to swap notes on Mount Fuji and any other relevant news, and it was a major pain to decide where to go for lunch because Kamakura is too hot and other places are too far... I guess I felt brushed off when I was going out of my way to think of a nice and interesting for him to go because he was a guest in Japan, even if it's his 4th time now. So this morning, he texted and said that he lost his bike keys and would be an hour late as he would need to report this to his teacher in charge at school. He then apologised with a "paiseh... sorry ah." I don't believe it!!? If I were in his shoes, I would be apologising like mad instead of apologising as if he was saying a really casual sorry to his little sister. I really want to uninvite him for Mt Fuji, but I don't know how to do it... Well at least, I did some internet snooping and found this little gourmet jewel in Shinjuku.

Maybe I haven't felt it myself while I was in Singapore, but I suppose people back home are a lot more casual than people here. I suppose the way to treat a stranger is not too far off from how you'd treat your mates. I'm not sure if that's a good thing... Even in Singapore, customer service is sorely lacking, the customer is usually treated as an inconvenience. I can testify to that, but there's also the occasional flashes of brilliance which make my day. There has been too much absurd news from Singapore. The supposedly corruption-free and straitlaced Singapore town has been making waves in the news for the frequent train breakdowns which is undoubtedly unacceptable for a "world-class transport system" that we (or the government?) constantly brag about. Corruption scandals and sex scandals have also rocked the whole idea that Singapore was impenetrable to vices like other liberal democratic countries. My student even showed me an article that highlighted the new law passed prohibiting domestic helpers from cleaning the outside of the windows of high-rise apartments to prevent them from falling to their deaths. (This happens almost as often as Chuocides, haha no just kidding. But often enough for people to be worried.) One sterling example of ridiculousness that I'm shaking my head at right now, is this crazy MRT aunty who picked a fight with an ah lian on the train because she was slow to give up her seat. (I'm no ageist, but I'm annoyed at a handful of greying seniors who think that just because they are old, they can get away with anything they want...)

I think this ah lian handled it pretty well. I wouldn't know what I would have done if I was in her place... Singaporeans (& her residents) can be rude at times, but I truly hope it's not a widespread thing. I genuinely worry for my country, especially at how people are increasingly anti-foreigners and how badly the government is handling all this discontentment. The huge numbers of immigrants and their unwillingness to integrate into Singapore culture is definitely an issue which needs to be addressed. I think the internet and the use of social media have just changed the ball game entirely for our leaders. Any tom dick and harry can say shit, stir shit and cause naive people to go with the flow. People expect instant results and if you can't deliver that, you get shot down within a heartbeat. Not defending the gamen, but they really need to step things up instead of taichi-ing it away. I hope things improve, I didn't get to vote, but I hope that the majority who voted the ruling party in last year actually made a good decision.

While I'm away and living in my own little bubble, I pray that Singapore town can still retain all her beguiling charms while progressing into a more gracious society. Fingers crossed.

Spring

It's been such a long time. I apologise! I've been terribly busy since returning to the land of the rising sun. Work has been hectic as usual. I've been getting more responsibilities, but life here has been beautifully mesmerising with the changing of the seasons. It's now the end of Spring and the rainy season will soon unleash her fury of downpours upon us.

We were so glad to embrace the first signs of warmth in March. The Ume (Japanese plums) bloomed and I finally visited a proper onsen (Japanese hot spring) and got used to being stark naked with other people of shapes and sizes. That was really liberating and I have gotten used to the luxury of being naked and soaking myself in various types of hot baths around Japan.

Spring came with the arrival of the gorgeous Sakura (Japanese cherry blossoms) as well. Last year it was overshadowed by the the March 11 earthquake, so this year everyone was out with a vengeance to enjoy it as much as possible. I took more time off work to drink and party under the sakura blooms too. It was especially heartwarming to see everyone enjoying themselves thoroughly around the country.

On top of that, I managed a road trip to Nikko with my friends after drinking and eating too much during the Ohanami season (Cherry blossom viewing season). It was great although the weather didn't hold up on the first time and it was still freezing in mid-April. We visited some waterfalls in Tochigi prefecture and the place was still covered in 2 metre-high snow. It wasn't so fun having numb feet and hands and getting pelted by rain at the same time. Nevertheless, it was a great trip with awesome company. The following day was better as the sun emerged from the heavens and blessed us with unusually warm weather in the day. The temples were a majestic sight.

The highlight of the trip was in fact our Gyoza(Japanese pan-fried dumplings) challenge in Utsunomiya city. We decided to have a competition of who could eat more gyozas in the most popular gyoza restaurant in town. Gareth was the undisputed champion as he had 7 plates of 6 giant gyozas each. That added up to 42 piece of torture! It was the shop's record as well. As for me, I managed a respectable 33 pieces. The 3-hour drive home from Tochigi to Tokyo wasn't so comfortable though.

April came and went. We said goodbyes to Ly & Jessica, our resident French couple who arrived in Japan last summer. We had a farewell party and there were some tears too, but we'll not forget all the good times spent together! I'm looking forward to attending their wedding in France in 3-4 years!

During the Golden week in Japan, I visited the Miraikan. The exhibition there was totally worth the trip and I've also dropped into the Oktoberfest party at Odaiba. I don't know why but I got pulled on stage to be made to play a hat-changing game. It was hilarious with inebriated people. It was a fantastic evening drinking, eating and dancing. I was properly smashed by the time I got on the train home and I still had to skype my family because it was my mom's birthday!

The following day I woke up really early to head to Yamanashi with P. We had planned a 2-day 1-night trip there. It was raining cats and dogs in the morning. Things weren't looking good, but it was a scenic train ride to Kofu city. We then started our hike up the paved road to see a pretty waterfall. Unfortunately, the wet weather meant that the area was covered in mist and Mt Fuji would not be seen from the top of cliffs. We skipped the ropeway and headed back into town.

We headed towards another onsen in another town and that was paradise. Going to the onsen for an hour's soak is really the best treat after some hiking or trekking. The views were amazing as well, although Mt Fuji was not visible, the surrounding rolling hills shrouded in mist at dusk was still pretty breath-taking. By the time we left, public transport had ceased and we had to walk back to the station. Our hitchhiking attempts failed but we managed to make it back in 30minutes in the rain.

It was a relief to get back to our ryokan(Japanese style inn/hotel) to be greeted by an impressive spread of home-cooked goodies. I happily gobbled up every last bit on my plates and dishes. The hostesses were charming obaasans (grandmothers) who chatted with us and we ate our dinner with the TV in the background. It was like visiting my own grandmother!

The next day, the sun greeted us and and it became pretty warm. We made a trip down the local shrine and then headed to the vineyard to drink as much wine as we can manage. The underground cave with more than 1000 types of locally produced wine was crowded with many people. Some people were already collapsed on the floor from over-intoxication. It was pretty funny. Of course, we made our way to the onsen again. Finally we made our way home. I basically snoozed the entire way because a hot bath just makes us sleepy.

Not long after, my baby brother came to visit me last week. We were able to visit Tsukiji market and feast on some fresh sushi. We also visited Fujikyu-highlands. I finally saw Mt Fuji in Yamanashi! We took the world's scariest rollercoaster called Fujiyama and I really thought I'd die! Even my brother was shitting in his pants haha.

Now that he's gone, I feel a little homesick! And I've gotten myself involved in some complicated matters. I hope it'd be solved soon or my emotional dissonance will eat away at me eventually. So I hope that'll will fill you in on what's going on so far.

今日は残りの人生の最初の日

I can't believe that my stay back at home zoomed past so quickly. While I managed to tick many things off my to-do list, there are some people whom I still haven't gotten the chance to catch up with. It's nice to know that most of my loved ones are still the same and we could continue from where we left off earlier. My home has changed quite a bit in terms of physical appearance but it doesn't detract away from the warm bubble bath feeling I get every time I go home. It's just so comfortable. The weather was wonderfully predictable! I really enjoyed the constant warmth and sunshine. It was such a guilty pleasure to be able to expose my skin to the sun, wind and waterlogged air. It was nice to indulge my obsession with Singlish again with my fellow Singlish-speakers. On top of that, I managed to fulfill some of my foodie cravings.

Chinese New Year was however as dreary as every year. It got annoying at some points when my elders asked me constantly about my "future plans" beyond my Japan stint. The problem was that I truly had no idea at that point in time. So I guess in the year of the dragon I have to figure out what exactly I want... Unfortunately, I don't know when I'll ever find out if something I decide on is truly something I want. I have a lot of doubts, fear and apprehension when it comes to making a major decision like that, given my history of making questionable decisions based on my considerations of the situation rather than sincerely asking myself what I wanted. I don't think I'm up to that, so I hope that soon... At the ripe old age of 25, I'll be able to do something decent for myself.

Now I'm back in freezing Tokyo. It was lovely to catch up with my housemates this weekend. My closest ones are actually moving on in a couple of days. I feel a pinch of sadness but I'm glad that their dream is coming true by having a proper home of their own. I'm going to be a wee bit lonelier without them around. Well, soon I'll be starting work. I'm looking forward to that though, it beats staying at home and making half-hearted efforts to study Japanese and clean the dust in my room.

Anyhow, here's a big thank you to everyone I met back home. Thank you so much for making my trip home so nice and heartwarming. It's great to see that everyone I care is doing well. May this year bring even brighter prospects, love, peace and bliss to everyone! x

FYI - I like this Japanese phrase: 知（し）らぬが仏（ほとけ）. It means the same as our saying in English "ignorance is bliss".

Happy new year

２０１１年のあたらし写真あげる！

新宿

Happy new year everyone! Sorry for the long hiatus! It's been really crazy. Life in Japan is fast-paced. It's not that I don't have much things to share, but it's just more convenient to talk about my thoughts and feelings when I drink with my mates. It's a way to save time. Haha.

How's 2012 for everyone so far? Mine started off well. It was an unexpected way to finish 2011, then we crossed over to 2012 with my friends all in one piece after going to Roppongi after too much drinks. Haha. Eventful night, to say the least.

Now I'm back in (sunny?) Singapore. Looking out the window however, paints a different picture. It's raining monkeys and rhinos at the moment. Thunderstorm and I'm not looking forward to wet feet as I leave the house later! The rain is so loud I can't hear my radio.

It's a few more days to Chinese New Year and I've been busy showing my friend Hide around Singapore town. I've met some people and caught up with them on the latest goss. I'm glad that with my sweet friends, I can always continue with them from where we left off earlier. I got some interesting books in our local bookshops and I think I'll have fun reading them. I need to practice my Japanese while I have some time to spare as well. Haha, too much things to do, too little time!

あけましておめでとうございます！最近東京は超寒い！今日東京で雪だな！！！羨ましい！ 寒くて死ぬかともたけど。楽しそうね。雪だるまを作りたい！

今週にシンガポールでひでとたくさん好きな場所にいた。楽しかったでも好きな人もくる、そうだといいね！

Snap shots

It's well and truly in the depths of frosty Autumn now. The chill has finally descended upon Tokyo after a long Indian summer earlier. It's been a while since I last posted anything. It's been crazy. I've gone a long break from work and travelled around with Wanhua in late October and early Novemberwhen she came to visit me. It was so lovely to see someone close to my heart again.

I'm not sure who's still reading this, but I feel obliged to write stuff anyway. Haha, all in all, it was an amazing trip. Kansai was lovely to us, but it was so warm compared to Tokyo.

After the exhausting night bus ride from Shinjuku to Osaka, we explored Osaka mostly on foot and retired early that night. It was a pretty standard city. I guess I didn't have the opportunities to have a proper conversation with the infamously friendly and humorous locals.

Kobe was interesting though. It was a nice port city with European influences and the highlight was basically eating the best kobe beef in my life. Kyoto, however, was in a league above all.

The countryside was breathtakingly beautiful, it was freezing of course. Otherwise it was just magical. The shrines and temples transported me to traditional Japan and it felt great to be away from the urban hustle and bustle.

After returning to Tokyo, we went out to Roppongi for Halloween and it was crazy. We didn't manage to get into any club, but it was still a memorable night. It was cheap at least!

After which we visited some regular spots around town such as Akiharaba, Harajuku and also went to Disneyland. But I reckoned the best day was when we went to Okutama to check out some fresh autumn foliage. That was a tough 4 hour hike through the woods but the scenery was well worth our effort. Plus the following day, it was basically face-stuffing bootcamp! We went to tsukiji market early in the morning, but it was closed!!! Fortunately for us, many restaurants were still open and we splurged on some expensive fresh sushi breakfast. It was great and thereafter we headed back home for our autumn BBQ. It was fantastic to start drinking at 12 and then be in bed at around midnight. Everyone was pretty pissed by then, but it was a great day.

On Friday, I brought W to Kichijoji because it's my favourite place in Tokyo. We walked around the shops and eventually popped ourselves for a couple of hours in a lovely cosy cafe. We'd prefer watching some good looking Jap boys walk past through the windows, but we had to content ourselves with screaming kids from the playground next door. The tea and the donuts were to-die-for though.

At night, we headed to WOMB, which is meant to be one of the top 10 clubs in the world. (No photos allowed either...) The venue was really small in a residential district in Shibuya and the doorman was hushing us to keep our voices down at 1am. The headliner DJ wasn't that good and by the time the awesome Japanese DJ came on at 4am, we were too pooped to carry on.

Finally we just slobbed around on Saturday and we managed to get to the Happara festival in Musashino park with Camilla & Shin. It was wet and cold, but still nice to be hippie-chic.

Since then I've been to a couple of other places, but let's save that for other future posts. x

Summer

Today is the 6-month anniversary for the March 11 Earthquake AND the 10 year anniversary for the Sept 11 attack. The latter changed the world... I would probably say the same for the former too, in light of the all the recent attitudes towards nuclear power. I still remember how small I felt as we tuned in to the radio in our classroom in secondary school, listening to the full impact of the whole situation. The night before I saw the unbelievable image of the smoking twin towers live on the 10 o'clock news. I couldn't comprehend what had happened, but the image burned itself into my mind. I must have thought of how crazy the world is becoming at that point in time.

10 years on, I still tear while reading magazine articles of how people's lives are turned upside down by the tragic events which happened on that fateful day. Little did we know that the 11th would be witness to another devastating disaster in Japan. It's been 6 months and I don't know how to feel to be honest. While it feels unreal because we haven't heard so much about the things going on Tohoku, yet at the same time, it still feels as if I just survived the quake yesterday. Our anxiety about the future still persist, but in a subdued manner as we carry on with our lives.

Talking about my life - I'm terribly sorry for being away for a month. August was crazy due to work. I worked 10am-11opm shifts almost everyday. It was a bit hellish, but I managed to live through it. I had some fun times but it just all added up to a terribly exhausting month.

I went to Disneysea with Camilla and it was really fun to see this fantasy world. Actually, it was more fascinating to see how crazy the Japanese people are about mickey mouse and his friends. It was unbelievable how they can embrace the whole gaudiness of the mickey empire and the money-spinning empire. They love it, they were buying down the entire place!?!?!!?! It would never happen in Singapore. Boys were happy to wear mickey mouse ears headbands. Everyone wore Mickey Mouse shirts and had a 1000/2000yen popcorn container hanging from their necks. Before this, I was at the National Museum with Masa-chan and it was really interesting to see the different Japanese cultural treasures. It did no favors for my superrrrrrrrrrrr sore feet though.

Earlier I went to the controversial Yasukuni shrine with Jeremy. He's my junior from my college and he happened to come to Japan for a summer music festival. I met him for the first time in Tokyo and we had a lovely time hanging out. It was cool to visit the shrine. I was really lucky to have some history background and I was able to look at its unique depiction of history. I found out from Yusuke that the shrine was able to write whatever it likes because of "freedom of speech". Shrines are entitled to their own opinions, which meant that they could write their own version of history. I found many contentious points, to which I chuckled to myself. However, most of the visitors are old Japanese people who seemed to take the information seriously. It further reinforces their belief that WW2 had a positive impact on the world. Still, I can understand from the Japanese point of view after looking at the exhibits in the museum. While the political leaders' visits to the shrines to honor the war dead are undoubtedly controversial, I can understand why some of them insist on such a tradition. The shrine has been established for a long time to honor ALL those who sacrificed their lives for the country (or ruler), thus it would be too narrow-minded to stop them from offering their respects at Yasukuni shrine because of WW2. Of course, any clever Japanese politican would not tempt fate and invite trouble by insisting on making official trips there. Kudos to the newest Prime Minister Noda for being pragmatic and prudent with regards to the Yasukuni shrine.

That's all I remember. I'm a little tipsy too, after polishing a bottle of wine with my housemate this evening. I had spent the evening watching and listening to my housemate cry about her heartbreak. My heart goes out to her. Be strong my dear. x

count your blessings to find what you're looking for

My neon & concrete jungle wonderland

It's been more than 6 months now! I feel quite at home in my adopted country, but I must admit that I'm still quite in adept at the Japanese language. Some things are still very challenging for me, such as banking or running some official errands which require more than the daily conversation competency.

Anyway, I suddenly felt like writing again. I was moved to tears after I read about the tragic incidents involving both the innocent kids who died in Olso, Norway as well as the sudden death of Amy Winehouse. It seems like tragedies seem to be getting increasingly common. I suppose I'm feeling extra sensitive because I was fortunate enough to survive the March 11 earthquake to witness the horror of entire impact of the earthquake, the following tsunami, the on-going nuclear crisis and the incompetency of TEPCO and the Japanese government to fully handle this emergency effectively. On top of the immediate destruction, deaths, evacuations, rescue operations, it's been 4 months now and we're still getting hit by an onslaught of food scandals. The safety standards have already been elevated in light of the current situation, but we still get news reports of contaminated tea and beef; contaminated breast milk; irradiated children in Fukushima and so on. Nevertheless, the government continues to insist that it's okay to eat small amounts of contaminated food. Yet they have ignored the glaring signs that the radiation has already seeped into all parts of the food chain in Japan. The Japanese people are largely unconcerned with such reports, but I think that they're either resigned to these facts or they prefer to feign ignorance in order to live a normal life. I'm sure that the ordinary Japanese think that the radiation is the least of their worries now, given the state of the economy (which got worse after March 11) and the lack of air-conditioning in the sweltering summer heat.

Samia sent me a concerned email to ask about me and how the situation is like in Tokyo. To be honest, everything is so normal. Until I read the forum on JapanToday a couple of days ago and it seems like the expats and other foreigners are extremely concerned about the irradiated environment they are living in right now. I'm thinking more about the risk I'm putting myself at, simply by living here. What these people are saying might be true, but I suppose I'm going to feign ignorance as well in order to have a decent quality of life here. I don't see the need to move away since I'm not pregnant nor am I a vulnerable child. I'm more upset at the failings of the government who seems more interested to cover their ass than to protect the health of their citizens.

One of my students have gone up north to volunteer in Tohoku and he said that he was very inspired by the experience. He met the survivors who are gritting their teeth through this whole trauma, with the determination to make a living once again in their hometown. That's really admirable and comparing himself with them, he feels extremely fortunate. I can't argue with that there. I'm content with life here. Everyday is exciting for me. Days with work are less so, but overall it's been great. People are generally very kind and thoughtful. I can't wait to explore different areas on Japan and go through all four seasons again, including the skin-chilling wintry conditions. A new country is just so much fun. To be part of the unique culture and to witness the people's pride of their own culture is genuinely rewarding. Given the choice, I'd still want to relive the whole experience again.

So back to the tragedies we've been reading too often in the newspapers. I really hope that things will become better in the world today. For everyone. Make love not war. Peace. x

Japanese Birthday BBQ

Happy birthday to me! I've just turned 24 on 24 June, with most of the people I care about in Japan. For that, I feel really really blissful.

I had the blessing of finishing my workday on 23 June with a cheeky 駅ビル, I even got a surprise flower bouquet from my student who is a florist. Then last night we had a boisterous BBQ party on the porch with my housemates and some friends who were able to pop by for the party.

My dear friends (Cho & Cai-chan from China and Taiwan respectively) prepared a lot of tasty food for the party even without me asking. Shin is always ever so helpful in getting the whole BBQ set up organised for us. Jun-san also came by and gave me a super nice box of macarons from patisserie Sadaharu AOKI paris. Looks well posh. Cho-chan also gave me a really lovely box of perfume on top of making really yummy food for me all the time! After she came down, they decided to spring a surprise on me. So there and then, Shin presented me with the "Hana-uta" CD from Hanaregumi! Thank you Shin and Camilla, who are among my best friends here. Sue and Robert also chipped in a yummy blueberry pie as my 'birthday cake' complete with candles and a song! Even Masaki came after completing his school work with a 6 pack of Asahi to get the party even more lubricated. Taro-kun also brought his sweet girlfriend to join us. Williams, the eccentric cleaner/pesudo gramps at our house also gave me a green tea mochi AND a thousand yen as my birthday present. Strange, but I appreciate his thought. haha. It was a really nice night.

Thank you so much. I'm truly moved.

21 April 2011

I'm just so amused sitting on the train journey from Tachikawa to Shinjuku during the evening rush hour... 

I'm seated in between two middle-aged perpetually-grunting salarymen with stinky bad breaths. On top of that i see tired tokyoites sleeping in all sort of positions, unlike the glamorous image they usually try to preserve. The same guy who was fixing his painstakingly waxed hairstyle would absentmindedly sleep leaning back against the window pane, leaving his mouth agape. 

I've also noticed that pointed shoes are the footwear of choice of many salarymen. Moreover, it seems that many high school girls make it a point to make their skirts as short as possible without showing their goose-bumped butt cheeks. Now, let's not discuss the hentai paradise of escalators.

As we pass through each station, I love watching the image of people packed into each carriages, framed perfectly by the opened doors, just like every artfully captured photo. It's nice to be back in Tokyo. 

Hope springs eternal

I feel especially blessed today. My heart is filled with simple warmth, not unlike the balmy weather we have been bestowed upon these few days. Perhaps its the potent combination of meeting some lovely new people, being given the various opportunities to admire the devastatingly beautiful sakura during this season, observing the Japanese society get themselves together after the Tohoku earthquake to enjoy their annual ohanami parties, meeting my students again and hearing their relief and gratitude towards my return to Tokyo. I'm just so glad to be back. It's times like this when I feel like I've finally done something right with my life. Not that everything had been a disaster until now, but I suppose I'm thankful to be able to sit back, reflect upon the last few months and appreciate everything that have happened in my life. There were the post-quake panic, there were the big aftershocks reminding me that I'm back in earthquake capital of the world. But still!

This is my first spring experience. I guess it's a bit out of the ordinary because of the post-earthquake situation and we're still not out of some nuclear danger. Nevertheless, time and tide waits for no man and springtime has sprung upon us like clockwork. It's utterly breathtaking. One can only truly appreciate the beauty of spring only after experiencing a harsh winter. Only when one is resigned to the eternal chill and barrenness of the land, Spring blooms from under our nose without us noticing. Then all of a sudden, when you realise that it's a little too warm to wear your winter coat, you also begin to notice all the different colours around you. I've never imagined rose bushes to look as vivacious as they are. I've never imagined cherry blossoms to look so delicately elegant. I've never imagined wild flowers to look so pretty and dignified.

Spring in Japan is definitely a good time. It's a pity that my family has decided to give it a miss due to the extraordinary circumstances. Especially with the hanami season, all of the country have poured out of their homes to view the cherry blossoms. It really feels like the whole country is having a giant music festival of some sorts. People picnicking and drinking merrily in the park, you hear laughter all around; people playing music on their guitars or just playing them from their stereos; people painting the scenery; people getting enthusiastic about something as silly as rowing the boat on the lake. The happiness is well infectious. In a country like this, you can only believe that they will make it good. I still believe in Japan and you should too! :)

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

After I touched down in Changi Airport, I was glad to be home to see all my friends and family again, but I didn't feel particularly good about being away from Japan at the height of the crisis. I was worried about my friends who were still in Japan. Thank god for facebook because they allowed us to keep in touch conveniently. I wasn't able to sleep peacefully at night for the first week I was home. Perhaps home was too comfortable compared to my week of sleepless nights since the earthquake. I think there will still be more aftershocks and I hope that I will be able to live through the slight tremors just like before the major quake. I will die from sleep deprivation and fright if that continued to happen. Home has been nice, but I've been rather bored. I don't have strong cravings from certain type of local dishes and I don't have strong desires to visit certain places. Some places did bring back some vivid memories though, but as time passes, I'm sure it'd continue to fade from technicolour to a muted sepia.

Nevertheless, I had the privilege of popping into Bangkok for a short trip to visit J. It had been a brilliant plan because I would be bored during the weekdays anyway. At the airport on Tuesday afternoon, I was just thinking of how often I've visited airports since 2008. Every return trip would involve 4 airports and suddenly I realised how dependent I had been on airports and airplanes to see people and places which matter to me.

Anyhow, BKK was a refreshing change from the familiarity of Singapore town. It was an even better surprise to find BKK in the middle of an unexpected cold front when I arrived. It felt good to feel a bit chilly, although I'm not such a big fan of icy cold showers in the mornings. It was really good to see J again, even as friends. Everything felt like how it had always been, minus the physical affection and intimacy. I must admit that occasionally I wished for the warm and safe embrace offered by his arms but I'm truly glad that we are still good friends. I won't want to jeopardise that in any way. It had been fun. BKK is so amazing because hardly anything has changed since I last visited in 2008. The same shops are still in Siam Square, traffic jams are still there, Swensens still look like the one we had in Singapore 10 years ago, thai massages still hurt me like hell, I still cry eating spicy Thai food and everyone still thinks that I'm Thai... Okay, I'm going to give it some credit - the airport link is finally open!

So that was my trip and so much thanks to J for going out of his way many times to be such a lovely host in one of my favourite exotic but frentic city. His nan passed last thursday evening and he had been able to be pretty stoic about it, my deepest regrets and love to him and his family. I met her once and she was an absolute sweetheart. Well... I'm due back in the sprawling city of Tokyo in a couple of days and I'm a bit scared now after being on a break for so long. Hopefully I'll ease back in smoothly and that my work schedule fills up to make up for lost time. I also some issues with the BUC workshop which I pray and hope will work out with as little fuss as possible. My brother just told me that my dad got a mortgage on the house and that's making me well worried. Why the hell is he doing that? I'm in no position to tell what my dad does with his money, but sometimes I'm really scared at what he does. I just hope that he knows what he's doing. That said, it makes me want to be completely 100% financially independent. With all the earthquake disruptions, it has put a massive dent in my plans to earn and save money. Now I'm living under my parents' roof and I feel guilty for doing so. I should seriously start thinking of what my plans are, after this Japanese stint. J said his dad told him that if you can justify what you do, then you've found the key to happiness. I'd say - use this advice only if you believe it. It works both ways in my opinion.

So this morning, I was reading the papers and it said that about only 20% of the population wants to emigrate overseas and that was a good thing. I would think that 20% is a significant part of the population and it surely isn't the exception... It gets really annoying when the mass media in Singapore is so blatantly obvious that it's the mouthpiece of the government, I'm sure it's not that hard to look neutral with some careful wording??? At least try to fool us convincingly. So anyway before I digress, I think 20% is a good part of the community who wants to explore the world. I'm glad that at least 1 in 5 people are having the same outlook as me, because Singapore is like a warm bath which you'd never want to get out, but at the same time, it's not so much fun being a swollen and wrinkled prune in the bath for the rest of your life. A bath is particularly luxurious when you're out and about toiling, exploring, discovering, learning, breathing, fighting. I see Singapore as a safe haven to return to once in a while to get my fixes, but it's not particularly attractive as a place to do the former. That's my choice - I'll always be a Singaporean. I really like our unique identity and I love my home together with all my loved ones here, but doesn't mean that I must stay put.

And while I'm home, things seem to be rather exciting with all sorts of scandals coming to light. First, this elitist Samantha chick who dissed the heartlanders for going to Holland Village in their chui clothes. Second, this hilarious Tin Pei Ling who amuses me to no end with her jabber-gabber which was full of PAP keywords without answering the questions directly fielded by the reporters. Lastly, it's the photograph of the NS boy with a maid carrying his field pack. What is Singapore coming to???

ごめんえ。

I'm coming home, if things go well. I don't feel so good about it though. My housemates are worried and are still torn over what to do, in light of the growing nuclear crisis. They were worried about me because I'm by myself, but at least I can make decisions by myself. My couply friends have to debate and discuss what to do as each person has their own needs, fears, concerns and commitments. I can hear my neighbour sobbing now as they talk about they should do. :(

Please please please please not let this become a horrible horrible disaster. Japan has suffered enough. I am worried and I feel terrible for being able to go home when not everyone else has the opportunity to do so. I'm sorry. Really sorry. I had thought that I was truly going to stick it out with everyone else here, the least I could do was to conserve some energy and provide comfort to my friends who are equally worried. And now I'm leaving them. I think they are very understanding and I'm sure that my departure has affected their morale to grit this out.

Please forgive me. In light of the seriousness of the current situation, I had chosen to ease my parents' and families' fears for me, instead of being selfish and staying here. I have to admit that my growing fears about the situation has also contributed to my decision to leave. When I switched on the telly this morning to watch CNN, i was utterly horrified to find more ominous news about the nuclear situation. I have lost any faith I had left in TEPCO. Radiation has hit Tokyo now and my mom freaked out just because I've left the house to meet my friend in the neighbouring town for lunch.

It's been difficult trying to keep calm in this sort of situation and I've been contemplating which is the best option. I'm mentally stressed by trying to think of something while being spooked by the constant aftershocks. My fears of the radiation is also getting to me and nothing seems to help. News have been especially depressing. I fear for the victims. They are even closer to Fukushima than Tokyo. I fear for my friends who can't leave because it is their home. I worry about my friends who chose to stay here because they think it's the best. I'm terrified that Japan will be thrown into more chaos with a potential nuclear meltdown which might happen over the next few days. I have grown to love this country and its people, even though I've only been here for a short while. Please please please please please show us some light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully, the tunnel isn't too long.

Sincerely,

me x

困ったな

G left Tokyo for home. I didn't expect him to do that. Perhaps I secretly wanted to do the same, but I can't believe that he really really left. Especially when he's seeing another Japanese girl here. All respect lost.