ごめんえ。

I'm coming home, if things go well. I don't feel so good about it though. My housemates are worried and are still torn over what to do, in light of the growing nuclear crisis. They were worried about me because I'm by myself, but at least I can make decisions by myself. My couply friends have to debate and discuss what to do as each person has their own needs, fears, concerns and commitments. I can hear my neighbour sobbing now as they talk about they should do. :(

Please please please please not let this become a horrible horrible disaster. Japan has suffered enough. I am worried and I feel terrible for being able to go home when not everyone else has the opportunity to do so. I'm sorry. Really sorry. I had thought that I was truly going to stick it out with everyone else here, the least I could do was to conserve some energy and provide comfort to my friends who are equally worried. And now I'm leaving them. I think they are very understanding and I'm sure that my departure has affected their morale to grit this out.

Please forgive me. In light of the seriousness of the current situation, I had chosen to ease my parents' and families' fears for me, instead of being selfish and staying here. I have to admit that my growing fears about the situation has also contributed to my decision to leave. When I switched on the telly this morning to watch CNN, i was utterly horrified to find more ominous news about the nuclear situation. I have lost any faith I had left in TEPCO. Radiation has hit Tokyo now and my mom freaked out just because I've left the house to meet my friend in the neighbouring town for lunch.

It's been difficult trying to keep calm in this sort of situation and I've been contemplating which is the best option. I'm mentally stressed by trying to think of something while being spooked by the constant aftershocks. My fears of the radiation is also getting to me and nothing seems to help. News have been especially depressing. I fear for the victims. They are even closer to Fukushima than Tokyo. I fear for my friends who can't leave because it is their home. I worry about my friends who chose to stay here because they think it's the best. I'm terrified that Japan will be thrown into more chaos with a potential nuclear meltdown which might happen over the next few days. I have grown to love this country and its people, even though I've only been here for a short while. Please please please please please show us some light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully, the tunnel isn't too long.

Sincerely,

me x