Many thanks for your concern everyone. Would do me a huge favour though, if nobody spoke about it, so I don't get reminded of my failure. For now... I'm just trying my best not to dwell on it. J told me to keep positive & there are other options to try out, so I suppose I will probably try my luck again.
But i'm really afraid of the bleak prospects ahead. I will really hate it if I'm forced to stay far far apart from J for another long extended period of time.
And this rejection has made me feel extremely inadequate in all ways. Oh well... I guess i'll get over it in a bit. This world needs mediocrity as much as smartypants armed with their first-class honours and a 987654paged CV lit up with golden beams. I think.
Still, thank you all of you for the kind words. My fingers are crossed and I'll take it in my stride. At rah's place yesterday, from my vantage point from the infinity pool, i saw all these happy families and happy couples together looking absolutely pleased to be spending the weekend together with their loved ones. I'm a little envious of people who don't have different hopes & aspirations. (Or maybe they have already found what they've dreamt of!) They seem to be contented with what they have & how nice is it that this is the best Singapore has to offer - a proper job like 80% of their friends, getting married, settling down & raising a family, then send their kids to the best schools & grow old together with their companion & grandkids. So I'm just really puzzled - why don't i want the same?
Adapted from the reply to rah's nice fb message. Cheers girl. It's much appreciated.
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