1 down. 1 more to go.
Anyway, if you've noticed, I've changed my blogskin and it has given me back the archives! Which I read with much interest - out of pure curiosity and nostalgia. It feels strange and voyeuristic at the same time - can you actually do that to yourself? I felt like a naughty little sister peeking into my older sister's diary while she's in the shower. Well well... I suppose I'm glad that I'm older. On hindsight, every problem faced then seemed small and laughable, every pretty picture evokes overly-rosy memories.
Reading my entries from last fall brought back so many lovely memories, but somehow it saddens me a lot to know that I have to let go and bury it underground and stick a gravestone which says R.I.P. Like what some friends say, it's over and it's merely a phase of life. True... and I can't cling onto to such an idyllic lifestyle for forever. Suddenly life seems so cruel, to let you have a taste of the good life and then strip you entirely of it. And now I sound way too melodramatic about life.
But now I'm stuck with the uneviable age-old question of what is the meaning of life? Is it just about fufiling expectations? Not rocking the boat? Enter and leave the world quietly? Or leave a mark somewhere, somehow? Imprint your name in the history books? Is it for the greater good? For the advancement of mankind? So I don't know, and hopefully someone can enlighten me. While we are all figuring things out, I just want to be happy in all the little small ways which I can. I was just telling wh that I'm easy to please - I only want to spend time with the people I love. It just pains me to know that I can't do that with j as he's so far away. At least I have my friends here, but somehow there's still a vacuum which lots of fun, alcohol and parties still can't fill. I miss him.
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