I feel like Im in a Final Destination movie right now.
Its as if I cheated everyone, especially myself, that I could do and would do Acct, but now that Ive gotten clear evidence that I really cant do Acct competently, no matter how much effort I put in, and then I get stalked by a string of ugly letter grades, refusing to stop until the worse ones appeared. Grades horrifying enough to make me change my mind. Ring a bell, no?
Its a parallel to the surviving characters who tried to cheat Death and eventually Death stalked them cruelly until their fates ended up in their demise. Just like how the characters who were destined to die, were unable to cheat Death, I cannot continue cheating everyone anymore, especially myself.
I cant bring myself to overlook the fact that I have been under-performing for the past 1.5 years. It's been 3 long torturous semesters & I simply cannot use the "Im a dumbass freshie trying to get used to the system" excuse anymore. Is it my fault? I really dont know. I'll take the blame if thats gonna make this decision easier.
Sigh... I'm caught in a whirlwind of emotions. Mainly anguish. Fear. Some misery. A sense of loss? Apprehension? Helplessness. Feeling very discouraged and hopeless. Guilt.
Welcome me with open arms now, Social Science.
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