It's 30 Dec and the new year is looming. Unlike 90% of the world's population, me together with all the Emo losers are dreading the new year because School is starting on 3rd Jan. Damn, we have to start school with the primary school kiddos PLUS sacrifice our precious weekends for the make up lessons. THANKS A LOT. What a dampener.
The approaching 2007 got me thinking about my life because i'm gonna turn 20 in 6 months time. I think i'll miss the third-"teen", four"teen" & all the "teen"s which ive experienced. This "teen"-ness has always been a convenient excuse for all things childish & ridiculous. I remember being naive- like engaging in immature secondary school politics, talking ills about other people behind their backs, throwing tantrums unnecessarily, breaking down and brawling my eyes out at the most trival things. Fighting with my younger brother over the TV, having numerous cold wars with my mom over lousy academic results, arguing over sleepovers & curfews. Haha. Such typical teenage angst huh? Well... I'm glad I grew up. At least, I think I've mellowed quite a bit. Tell me if I'm being a whiny bitch and i should just get a life. Go ahead, i appreciate honesty. (Just tell it to me nicely, ok?)
I remember being so full of myself during the teenage years, especially at 13. It's like phoar- I'm finally a full-fledged TEEN now and i expected the freedom which came with it. Blame it on American Literature. Their teens seem to be mini-adults. Oh, even my trusty characters of the homegrown Bookworm gang had considerable freedom- like going out without any adult chaperones. I guess being the only girl among 3 children made my parents more protective of me too. However, while my mom was strict, she wasnt exactly unreasonable. Thankfully, the reins have been loosened, so now i can spend the night out without having my parents freaking out and calling the police.
I believe i'm in a reflective mode today. Just a while earlier, I Msn-ed an old guy friend whom i havnt talked to in ages. The last time we talked was probably about 6 months ago, at my surprise 19th birthday dinner. We used to be much closer, like buddies, but we sort of had something going on (though we were in self-denial most of the time). Unfortunately, we have drifted apart since june2004, after we decided to "remain friends". Haha, its probably one of the most hated phrases in the world today. Right?
Anyway, that made me wonder if our friendship was that shallow? Or is it that a girl and a guy are unable have a platonic relationship after a certain degree of closeness? I really hope that my first theory is wrong. I'd rather choose to believe that the drifting apart was a natural process of letting go of something dear and also the consequential process of accepting the loss. Staying distant makes it easier. So... i have faith that our friendship wasnt that superficial and that we can reclaim our friendship soon! When we have more time for people outside the current 1st & 2nd degree circle of friends. This list of social priorities is flexible, some positions are transient. so... just try get into my good books. Heheh- you know what to do!
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